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Friday, September 06, 2013

Death Becomes Her


Cath's Bday 2006 012You guessed it, it was a movie, which my life has felt like I have been in a movie this last week, from Ground Hog's Day to The Descendants and it has had it's funny moments but it has also had is sad moments. Besides dealing with death I have other crap who doesn't have issues but it's all like running together. There might not be anything in this world that has more questions attached to it than the subject of death. Where do we go when we die? Can the dead see or hear people who are still living? And, perhaps the biggest question of all: How do I go on living after losing someone I love?  This is the second time I have experienced death so close to me. The first experience was when my grandfather passed away, which was sudden, we just saw him Saturday night, and Sunday morning he was gone in an instant. We didn't have much time to grieve, it was like he has passed away, hurry up make funeral preparations then the funeral. Well this time it is different. Yes Monday was as shock, but Tues-Thur the family has had some time to deal with it, we have mentally prepared to say good bye, we all visited her and talked to her and said good bye, but when the doctors tell you well it could be any minute, hour or day, and after preparing yourself each day, it becomes mentally exhausting. However she hasn't given up, after 3 1/2 days with out food and water, she is still strong and holding, they have placed her back on a feeding tube. Who know what God has in store for us, and well it has taught me several lessons. Family is very important, no matter what, 2 if it isn't your time to go, then it isn't your time to go and 3 I love my grandmother very much. My grandmother suffered a massive stroke and is in a coma. We the call that they found my grandmother, unresponsive, cold, clammy right there slumped face first over the bed. This was the second brain hemorrhage she had within two months, the first one she came back and was gaining strength going back to church, bingo and talking with friends. We got made it to the hospital six hours later; we had gotten calls while in route from other family members asking where we were? How close were we, we were preparing ourselves for death. If I can describe a sudden accident or incident it is shock at first. The hospital staff had just placed her in the room; she spent most of the day in the ER. I wasn’t prepared as I thought when I looked at her in this coma, it was like I had seen in the movies, it reminded me of this George Clooney movie I watched “The Descendants” it was similar in tone. There lay my grandmother, the matriarch of this family, lifeless, where ever the nurses turned her is where she would stay. This spunky, feisty woman was laying their unresponsive and it was sad. I talked to her to let her know we were there and she wasn’t alone. They ran a couple of MRI and CAT scans, and she was now bleeding from both brains internally, surgery was not an option and the brain wasn’t stopping on bleeding. Now the pressure was building up and pushing her brain into the skull. The doctors said if she recovered she would be a vegetable. The best we could do was let nature take its course, we all agreed because this is what grandma wanted, she wanted to die and be with her husband who passed away in 2008. You know when my grandpa passed away in a way so did grandma, they were married 62 years, and well her soul mate was gone. After about an hour, I had to make plans for my kids because well we needed to be there, the doctor’s said she wouldn’t last more than 12 hours. Well we did, and her pain has continued to increase, and well she is still hanging on. We took her off life-support on Monday and the doctor’s told us Monday that she wouldn’t make it to Thursday and well here it is Friday and she is still living. No matter who we are, where we live, or what we do, death will touch all of us in some way.

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